When they say ‘you are your own worst critic’, it’s true. At least in my case. It is the easiest thing in the world to convince myself that the novel I’m working on is terrible. It is nearly impossible for me to believe that it will turn out the way I want it too.
I know the chances of a first novel being even remotely good are next to none. Then again, I never liked hanging my hopes on statistics either.
Fear could be part of it. Fear of putting everything out there and not succeeding. Fear of not being able to try again if this attempt fails miserably. Fear of finally finding out what other people think of my writing.
Ok. The fear is definitely there, no doubt about it, but fear can be beaten, conquered. All you need is a little faith.
So where, after all these years, is my faith in my abilities? I’ve only been wanting to do this since elementary school.
WHY, why, why, is it so hard for me to believe I can??
I’m driving myself bonkers with my constant worries – my constant doubt. And yet, the thing is, nothing anyone says is going to make even the tiniest bit of difference, because the only person who will be able to convince me that this is all going to work out. Is me.
So what the heck am I going to do? I don’t know. The only thing I know is that I’m not going to let self doubt get in the way of me finishing this book. I’ll get it done, no matter what.
I must.