Even though I know that we each make our own happiness, I have still been searching for a place that feels like home. It was one of the things I was hoping to find when I came to Ecuador; I had this dream of walking into a valley or stepping onto the beach and suddenly, miraculously, feeling like I belonged.
There is a fear lurking in the dark dangerous recesses of my mind that has been making me wonder if I would ever find home, if it were even possible for me to find a place where I could belong so completely. And yet, I already knew that home is nothing more than a state of mind. Of embracing where you are, of loving the life you have.
I came to Ecuador wondering if I would find home, but what I really should have done was bring it with me. For years, when asked if I liked my home town, I would reply with negativity. All too willing to start listing off all the things about it that grated on my nerves or made it less than perfect. I became so used to proclaiming my dislike of the city that I never really gave myself a chance… to give it (or the people there) a chance.
I was just waiting for my opportunity to escape.
If home is a state of mind, like happiness, you cannot expect to find it, or for someone else to deliver it to you. You need to create it, and will it into existence each and every day. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t travel, or try to find a place where you feel more comfortable. I’m not saying that where you are in this moment is perfect. But. It is where you are. Right now, in the present. And no moment matters more than the one you are in.
Make it home. Make it happy. Dream, but don’t forget to open your eyes to what you already have.
I don’t know where I will end up. Maybe back in Canada. Maybe Ecuador. Maybe somewhere I haven’t yet dreamed of going… maybe I’ll never settle in one place at all. But the thing is, it doesn’t matter. Because each place I go has the potential to be home, if I am willing to embrace it.